Giving and receiving feedback is an important part of working collaboratively.
When given in a considered and respectful manner, feedback can benefit the recipient by guiding them through development. Feedback helps employers or supervisors identify any challenges the recipient might be facing and offer support or adjustments in their work.
Speaker 1
Hey can I talk to you for a second before our class?
So our project, could you please try a bit more?
Well, it's just...
So we all tried really hard.
And us reading your part is just isn’t as good.
Speaker 2
Sorry. What?
Speaker 1
Just don't want to fail so please look over it again.
Speaker 2
Wait...
Speaker 1
Hey.
Speaker 2
Hey.
Speaker 1
Do you think we could go have a chat for a few minutes?
Speaker 2
Ya sure.
Speaker 1
So, about the project.
Your introduction is really good.
I love your ideas.
If we could just add a bit more examples in the body paragraphs and just flesh them out a bit more, that would be awesome.
Speaker 2
Sorry, I thought my examples were enough,
I didn’t know you thought that...
Speaker 1
The examples used are really good.
I was just hoping we could go through and add a bit more detail to the different points of view.
Speaker 2
Yeah, I can definitely add some more examples.
May need a bit of help though.
Speaker 1
Yeah no worries, happy to help!
Speaker 2
Hi Sir, about the other day, you called my parents and said I was being disruptive in class.
You could have talked to me first.
I got into a lot of trouble for it.
Speaker 3
Well, I contacted your parents because you were disrupting
others in the classroom, and it's just not on...
Speaker 2
Sir, that's not fair, you could have...
Speaker 3
I don’t have time for this.
Speaker 2
Hi Sir, about the other day, you called my parents and said I was being disruptive in class.
You could have talked to me first.
I got into a lot of trouble for it.
Speaker 3
I'm going to be honest, I didn't really think about it as much, but, it's school policy to contact the parents if you are being disruptive at class.
I understand that.
Speaker 2
So it was one time talking class.
You could at least talk to me about it privately before you go straight to the parents.
Speaker 3
I see where you are coming from.
Next time anything like this happens,
I'll try to make sure that you are informed and ask you beforehand.
Identify what you’re hoping to achieve from the conversation so that you can give targeted feedback which will support the person to achieve.
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Ensure the feedback is actionable; you might think you are giving feedback, but if you are simply making observations about someone’s actions with no possible solutions, it won’t be constructive.
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Stay open-minded and willing to hear the other person’s perspective, as they may have some insight you hadn’t considered.
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Always be respectful.
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Choose the right time and place. Make sure the recipient is receptive and not in the middle of a stressful situation. Feedback should be given soon after the person has demonstrated certain behaviour, to give them appropriate context for how their actions are impacting their work or others in the team.
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Be constructive. Focus on providing feedback that is helpful and actionable. Avoid being overly critical or negative. Frame your feedback in a way that highlights areas for improvement while also acknowledging strengths.
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Be specific. Offer examples to illustrate your points. This makes your feedback more tangible and easier to understand.
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Use "I" statements. This helps you avoid sounding accusatory and emphasises your own observations and feelings.
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Balance positive and negative. If your feedback includes areas for improvement, also highlight the individual's strengths and achievements. This balance encourages a more positive and growth-oriented response.
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Focus on behavior, not personality. Address specific behaviors or actions rather than making judgments about the person's character. This helps keep the feedback objective and less personal.
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Listen and be open. After delivering feedback, be open to hearing the recipient's perspective. Give them the opportunity to respond, ask questions, or share their point of view.
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Check in. Changes don’t happen overnight, and the person might need support enacting some changes. Make sure to discuss what adjustments, changes, or supports they might need to take on your feedback and make the time to check in on their progress.
It’s not always easy to give someone feedback, so if someone approaches you with constructive feedback it’s important to show respect by listening with an open mind. If someone is providing feedback with the right intentions, it will ultimately be for your benefit and growth.
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Stay open-minded. Approach feedback with an open mind and a willingness to learn and grow. Remember that feedback is an opportunity for improvement.
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Don't take it personally. Separate you as a person from the feedback. Constructive criticism is about your actions or work, not about you as a person.
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Ask clarifying questions. If the feedback is unclear or you need more context, don't hesitate to ask for further explanation. This shows your commitment to understanding and improving.
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Reflect before responding. Take some time to reflect on the feedback before responding. This prevents impulsive reactions and allows you to provide a thoughtful response. You might not have a response in the moment, as feedback can take some time to process, and it’s okay to acknowledge that openly when receiving feedback.
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Focus on improvement. Use feedback as a starting point for growth. Identify specific actions you can take to address the feedback and make positive changes.
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Seek feedback proactively. Actively ask for feedback from mentors, colleagues, and peers. Proactively seeking input shows your commitment to improvement and development.
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Celebrate progress. As you work on implementing feedback and making improvements, celebrate your progress. Small steps forward are worth acknowledging.
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Be open about needing support. If you need support to take on the feedback, let your supervisor or coworkers know.
Remember that feedback is a collaborative exercise, and an essential part of personal and professional development. Approach the process with a growth mindset and a genuine desire to learn and improve. See it as a collaborative journey where the person giving you feedback can support you as you develop.
- [Nick] Hey, have you ever had a moment where you've made a mistake
and you realise that you're completely wrong about something?
- [Olivia] Yeah, of course. I mean,
I didn't realise my dad was left handed until I was about 12.
Once I thought I was putting a heat-safe plastic dish into the oven.
Turns out it's just the normal, meltable kind.
- [Nick] (laughs) Ouch, but not quite.
The one that I'm talking about is about people.
And the reason I ask is, at the end of the day, we're all wrong sometimes.
And sometimes these mistakes can just be like messing up in the kitchen.
But sometimes there's something deeper that might be wrong.
- [Olivia] Do you mean like misjudging someone based on the first impression?
- [Nick] Yeah, it could be something like that.
But another example that I can definitely relate to is saying something
offensive because you've never actually learned that it was wrong.
- [Olivia] In terms of disability, I can tell you that happens all the time.
People make assumptions or use words that are offensive and they don't mean it.
Well, sometimes they do.
But let’s focus on the times they don’t.
Like, for me,
sometimes the first thing people ask when they meet me is where I'm from.
When I was younger, I didn’t really understand the question,
but people didn't believe me and they wouldn't let go.
They were so sure I must be wrong.
So for a while, I’d just say what they want to hear.
You know, Poland or Lithuania, Wales or something.
Now I just tell them the truth.
You know, I've been in Australia my whole life
and I've been to about seven years of speech therapy.
And then there's just a moment of silence.
- [Nick] Yeah, that does sound pretty awkward.
So, if we have realised that we've made a mistake, what can people do?
- [Olivia] I know it’s hard. People will stay up until 3AM
playing that moment from a week ago or five years ago on repeat.
I've been there.
I want them to feel for a second just a little
bit of the same discomfort they caused me.
And then I want them to dissect their mistake and learn from it.
- [Nick] And also, I think that sometimes you just need to stop and reflect.
If you feel uncomfortable after being told that something
that you said was potentially harmful, you got to actually check in
with yourself and ask, why?
Discomfort can actually be a really good tool to motivate you to change.
- [Olivia] And it's so important to not dismiss someone's experiences
or get defensive, even if whatever happened was unintended.
And then just apologise.
And mean it, you know?
- [Nick] Yeah. And I also think being open to
a conversation about it is really helpful,
at least for me in the past, when I've accidentally hurt
someone's feelings, I would shoot them a message saying something along
the lines of “Hey, are we okay? Do you want to chat about
what happened yesterday? Only if you're down”.
I feel like that takes responsibility for you actually having caused
some harm to them potentially.
- [Olivia] 100%.
- [Nick] Yeah, And that could totally smooth out the tension
and make it a little less awkward.
- [Olivia] That's great, yeah.
- [Nick] So remember, you can't control your first thought,
but you can control you second,
and you can definitely control how you act on them.
- [Olivia] And always try to learn from that experience
and use that discomfort to change.
Olivia and Nick have a conversation about the assumptions we make and how when we realise we have made a mistake, we feel uncomfortable. They ask us to embrace the discomfort and use it to motivate us to learn. Together they discuss why Person-first vs. Identity-first language is important to be aware of, how we can learn from our mistakes, challenge our own prejudices, and how we can apologise and take accountability
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Mind Tools. (n.d). Giving Feedback. https://www.mindtools.com/a18a0wu/giving-feedback
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University of Waterloo. (n.d). Receiving and Giving Effective Feedback. https://uwaterloo.ca/centre-for-teaching-excellence/catalogs/tip-sheets/receiving-and-giving-effective-feedback